Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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