nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
either way he was missing a nipple.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
