his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
