i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
