you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize