Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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