Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
