Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So much rum. So many feels.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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