It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
