i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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