I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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