Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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