The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
