Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
