Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
