Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
