K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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