my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
