you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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