matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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