How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
