CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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