That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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