I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
