Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
