She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
