I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Holy sore nipples Batman
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize