I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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