I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
