I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
