You can't special order awesome
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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