Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
