He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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