A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
