How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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