Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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