Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize