I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize