I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
