yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize