ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
