Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize