its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
