Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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