At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just forgot I was standing up.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
