I want you more than these girls want KFC
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
