is wine microwaveable?
it glows. i had to have it.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
