Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
