never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
