chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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