I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
