Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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