If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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