This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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