I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize