so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
