Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
