honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize