Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
