If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
