Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
