I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
