i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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