I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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