It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
